great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize