you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
