If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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