If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Slut skills are useful in every country.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
