I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Randomize
