is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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