i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
