Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
