i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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