Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
vagina is talking i cant
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
