that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize