I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
