wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
