i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Let's paint friendship bongs
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
