have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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