just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
