You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
