I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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