my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
