It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
