I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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