The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize