maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
