he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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