hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize