How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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