Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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