I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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