I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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