I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
