Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
