Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
