wrigley field is MILF paradise
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
