so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
