im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
