Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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