I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
