and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
