The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
