I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
