that's an acceptable place to lick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
