she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize