he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
