those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
