there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize