We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
