ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
