i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
