Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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