he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
