that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
