yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
