dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
