Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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