its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize