he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
