he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
