I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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