Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
