I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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