this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We left an ass print on the piano.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
