remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
