If i come over, it means nothing
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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