I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
