"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
