tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's official drugs can't kill me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
