i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
