I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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