no, he came in my armpit
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
