I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
