i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
