I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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