I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
